


but that will never be enough

by Suicix



Category: GOT7
Genre: Best Friends, Friendship/Love, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Moving Out, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Yugyeom’s tried his very best not to think about it, but that’s impossible right now, when there are boxes and cases and bags that are steadily being filled up all over his and Bambam’s room.





	but that will never be enough

**Author's Note:**

> while i am not that irl emo about bambam moving out of the dorm (please...... let him do what he wants and be independent. also, his cat is rly cute) i sure am emo about it in this fictional universe in which yugyeom has Secret Feelings for him and also angsts about the passage of time. a real mood, that's for sure
> 
> that "possibly unrequited love" tag is because you can decide for yourself if yugyeom's feelings here are actually unrequited or not ~~in my head, they are not....... i can't have this!!! bambam feels the same but also won't show it!!!~~. either way, i think both possibilities (Actually Unrequited vs drawn out mutual pining in which neither person will make a move) are suitably angsty Oh Dear

Yugyeom’s tried his very best not to think about it, but that’s impossible right now, when there are boxes and cases and bags that are steadily being filled up all over his and Bambam’s room.

His and Bambam’s room, soon to be only his room. It hurts to think about it. It hurts to be sitting here while this is happening, in fact. Yugyeom knows he could hide himself away in one of the empty bedrooms – Youngjae’s old room or Jackson’s – but he said he’d help Bambam pack, even though he hasn’t actually done much of that so far.

Come to think of it, it’s not even like Bambam’s putting much effort into packing, either. He seems distracted as he goes through his clothes and pulls them out of the closet, mumbling under his breath to the song that’s playing from his phone. Yugyeom doesn’t even know what song it is anymore, can’t be bothered to concentrate enough to try and figure it out. It’s just background noise.

Background noise to Bambam, which is really where Yugyeom’s thoughts are focused, as firmly as he tries to tell himself _no._ Bambam’s bare-faced and messy-haired in soft sweatpants and a hoodie, and yet to Yugyeom he’s just as eye-catching like this as he would be if he was stage-ready in one of the designer jackets he’s just dumped on his bed.

His bed, soon to not be his anymore when he’s gone. Yugyeom wonders if the sheets will be left there or if it’ll be totally empty, just a sad, bare mattress. He hopes not. (Even if Bambam doesn’t take the sheets, though, it’ll still feel empty in comparison to when he’s here. The whole room will. Yugyeom will never come back to Bambam listening to the same song over and over and over, will never have to worry about tripping over the long row of shoes at the foot of Bambam’s bed. Maybe that last part’s a good thing, but it’s also a part of life that he’s got used to since they’ve been living here. And from tomorrow, like Bambam, it’ll be gone.)

“You’ll still come by to visit sometimes, right?” Yugyeom finds himself saying, and though he knows that Bambam will, there’s something about the idea of Bambam actually saying so that he thinks will be reassuring.

“Huh?” Bambam turns away from his wardrobe to face Yugyeom. His eyebrows furrow in a frown, as if he’s either concerned about what Yugyeom just said or hurt by it. “Of course I will! If Jackson can make time to visit with a schedule like his, then I definitely can.” He drops an armful of clothes on the bed. “I just wanted to be a bit more independent. And you know, to get a cat.” More clothes end up on the mattress; Yugyeom can’t even remember the last time he saw some of them. Why does Bambam need so _many?_ “Besides, you’ll be visiting me, too. You can come and stay as much as you like.”

That’s enough to make Yugyeom’s heart skip a beat. He’d known it, of course, that he’d be invited over – that he’d be the first one to visit, because what else are best friends for? – but hearing Bambam say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world is something else. Suddenly, Yugyeom’s mind is flashing with images of the two of them in Bambam’s new apartment. Movie marathons on the couch that no-one can interrupt except for Bambam’s cat, no hyungs around to tell them to shut up and go to sleep. And then, when it eventually _is_ time to go to bed, it’ll be the two of them curled up under Bambam’s duvet, getting closer and closer with every minute that passes, and then Bambam will lean in to whisper something heartfelt and sweet, and then he’ll let their mouths meet, and–

“Yugyeomie?”

Yugyeom blinks. Those aren’t thoughts to be having now. They aren’t thoughts to be having _ever,_ not unless he wants to throw away their friendship – unless he wants to throw away one of the most important things in his life. It wouldn’t be worth it. It wouldn’t ever, ever be worth it.

Bambam’s back to looking concerned again, that frown back on his face as he steps closer to Yugyeom’s bed.

“Are you OK?” he asks. He sits down beside Yugyeom. “You just – I don’t know. Seem sort of… off today?”

“I’m fine.” Yugyeom shrugs, gives a weak smile. “It’s just weird, I guess. You leaving.”

“It’s not like I’m leaving like, the group. Or Korea. But – yeah. It does feel kinda weird. Especially because it’s always been us.”

Yugyeom nods, slow. That’s exactly why he feels like this, his own private feelings for Bambam aside. They’ve always shared, both in the old dorm and now. It’s not like with most of the others, who swapped at some point, or like Jinyoung, who’s always had a room to himself. It’s not like either of them moved into one of the empty bedrooms when they became available. It’s always been Bambam-and-Yugyeom, maknaes together, some strange two-headed entity that speaks its own language. Yugyeom only hopes they’ll still both be as fluent when they’re not living in each other’s pockets twenty-four seven. Realistically, he knows they should be. It’s not like anything’s lost when Bambam goes off to Thailand or when Yugyeom stays with his parents over the weekend. There’s no need to worry.

Even so, though, Yugyeom can’t help but entertain the possibility of something changing in a way that it shouldn’t, something changing in a way that would actually hurt. Things are always changing – it’s just the nature of the industry – but Bambam’s been a constant, that best friend Yugyeom always wanted.

(Something about that – about the mere concept of _best friends_ – reminds him of being a kid and most of the rest of his class all being neatly paired off, and then him moving onto somewhere else before he could have that for himself. Being so relieved that he finally has that with Bambam is probably kind of childish, and Yugyeom’s _not_ a child, not anymore, even if there are times when the hyungs still treat him like one. He’s especially not a child when his next birthday’s so soon, and then he’ll be as old as Mark and Jaebum were when they debuted. Is this what growing up is? Realising that things won’t stay as they are and that nothing can be done about it? Time suddenly passing by more quickly than ever and not feeling like you’re moving with it like you should be? Yugyeom doesn’t think he likes it, doesn’t know why he was so eager for it when he was younger. It isn’t quite how he thought it might be.)

“Yeah,” Yugyeom says, finally answering. He feels grateful for the music filling what would otherwise be absolute silence. He smiles again, though he can’t seem to make it feel real enough. Can’t seem to convince himself to say _it always will be._ “It always has.”

Bambam simply returns the smile and goes back to sorting out his packing. The music blares on.

“Hm,” Bambam says after a while. “I think I’ll just give up for now and only take what I’ve packed so far.”

“You’re just gonna leave a bunch of stuff here?”

“I can come back and get the rest of it. Some of my other stuff’s still back at the old dorm, so I’ll have to go back there, too. It’s fine! We’ll be on tour soon anyway, so I won’t be living in the new place properly for a while.”

That’s something else to consider: tour. Japan, and spending most of the next couple of months practically attached to Bambam, everything carrying on as normal (except not normal, not really, not without Jackson there), and then coming back and things being different. Some of Bambam’s things still being here when the tour ends but not Bambam himself, and then, the bits and pieces of Bambam gradually disappearing from the room until eventually, every trace of him is gone.

Yeah, it’s definitely for the best if Yugyeom doesn’t think about that. Not until it’s actually happening, at least.

“You’re not even gonna pack up the stuff on your bed?” Yugyeom wonders, nodding across at it. He tells himself there aren’t any ulterior motives behind that question – that he’s only thinking about the fact that there’s no way Bambam can possibly sleep there comfortably with all of that on the mattress – there’s something else on his mind.

“Not now,” Bambam says, scrunching up his nose. “But soon, and then when I’m gone maybe Jaebum can sleep there instead of taking naps in Mark’s bed just because he thinks it’s comfortable.”

“What about tonight, though? You’re not leaving until tomorrow.”

Bambam’s eyes are on Yugyeom’s, then.

“Maybe,” he says, his voice a little quieter than usual (and Yugyeom isn’t going to think about what that might mean, because it could be everything but is more likely nothing), “I’ll sleep in your bed with you tonight.”

Without a doubt, Yugyeom knows that he’ll let him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading, everyone!! you can always find me on tumblr @ vibetechs and also now on twitter @gotsevenses


End file.
